


As the sun broke through the smoke ( I told you I loved you)

by mischief_managed_7



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Everyone copes in their own way and own time, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 19:56:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15736305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischief_managed_7/pseuds/mischief_managed_7
Summary: I just thought about this and had to write it down. I didn't edit at all so bear with me, might go back and fix it later. Anyway I have lots of feelings about how everyone dealt with the aftermath of the war and this is how I imagine Parvati and Lavender did it.





	As the sun broke through the smoke ( I told you I loved you)

When she had been younger, the small creaks and other unidentifiable noises of the dark common room had scared Parvati, and she always tried to escape its gloom for the more comforting girls' dormitory early in the evening. Now, that fear was gone - albeit replaced by many others - and she felt at home in the dark tower, lit up only by a bewitched ball of floating light. Perhaps this was due to habit; there had been many late nights in this tower within the last year, cuddled up with Lavender on the smallest couch next to the largest window through which they occasionally vanished the opaque smoke from their joints. Sometimes, she had to laugh at these nightly smoking sessions. If someone had told her a mere two years ago that she would be partaking in them nightly, she would have scoffed. Smoking was for Muggles, and delinquent ones at that. But now here she was and to say she wouldn't change it for the world was definitely an exaggeration, but things were what they were and if this was what she could do to make it bearable then so be it. And although at first she had simply sat next to Lavender as she smoked the pain and the memories away, she now had to admit that it wasn't unpleasant to let the smoke fill her lungs and blur her thoughts, giving her a small respite from the reality of a school and world torn apart. 

Now, with NEWTS coming up, they actually hadn't smoked in a few days. Most of their time was consumed sitting in the library or in the empty Divination Tower, reading through notes and textbooks or working feverishly on end of term papers. But tonight, for the first time in a while, because of stress maybe, or because of the unspoken awareness of the anniversary of the previous year's events creeping ever closer, Lavender had woken up screaming and thrashing from a nightmare, clawing at the still healing scar on the side of her neck. Waking up at the first sound of a distressed breath, Parvati had quickly cast a Silencing Charm on their two beds and started soothing her friend. It was easier now than it had been at the beginning of the year, when the wounds - physical and otherwise - had still been all too fresh and easily reopened. All it took these days were a few calming words and reassurances, a cold, delicate hand on clammy flesh, a quick hug. And then, a trip down to the common room to indulge in some of Lavender's weed, the only thing that seemed to truly be able to insure a peaceful sleep for the rest of the night. She had tried Calming Draughts and Sleeping Charms at first too, but they only lead to more dreams, except she couldn't wake up from them, which just made it worse. 

So there they were, sitting on what she now though of as their couch, her in a worn out Hogwarts t-shirt and Gryffindor-colored pajama pants, Lavender wrapped in her robe, which was way too big since she was good few inches shorter, but which she claimed made her feel safe. She was expertly drawing long hits, breathing out the smoke slowly. Parvati watched it pan out into the room for a few seconds before banishing it from the room with a silent flick of her wand. The smaller girl wore her hair short now, partly out of practicality - her hair got in the way when Madam Pomfrey had to tend to the wound - and partly, Parvati privately thought, because it suited who she was now much better. For better of for worse, she was no longer the laughing, makeup-wearing girl with long relaxed hair of the many pictures that plastered their bunks. Instead she was short cropped natural hair, a bare face, and the occasional shy smile. She was also more reserved, less exuberant, more focused on the things that truly mattered to her instead of on the things that would look good to strangers taking a quick glimpse at her life. But maybe that part of the change (or all parts, really) had started before even Fenrir Greyback had left that scar on her neck, during that year spent either taking hits or hiding from those giving them in the ever-expanding Room of Requirements. Either way, the short hair seemed perfect now, like it was a part of her that had been there all along, just hidden under all the other stuff. 

"You want a hit?" Lavender's voice brought her out of her reverie.  
"Sure," she answered, taking the half-smoked blunt from her friend and switching her braid from one shoulder to the other so no ash would get caught in it. As their hands touched, she noticed the other girl's was shaking still, although her face was impassible and all signs of tears had disappeared from it. She took the trembling hand into hers.  
"You know, I still think about it, too, sometimes. And I know maybe you don't want to hear about it," she added hurriedly, taking a peek at her friend's face, "But sometimes the memory of you lying there with all that blood just hits and all I want is to reach out, make sure you're really still here."  
Lavender nodded, and gazed out the window, "When I was lying there, staring up at the sky in the Great Hall, I felt so alone. Every around me, there were people in pain and dying or dead, and even the people that were running around helping out had this look in their eyes, like they were dead, too, or they wished they were. And everything smelled and tasted like blood, and at some point I just thought maybe I wanted to be dead, too. Maybe I didn't want to feel that pain and watch everything and everyone I knew just crumble to dust until nothing was left. And then I saw your face and I couldn't make out what you were saying, I'm not even sure you were really there, but I just thought that if just one person cared if I lived, and if that person was you, then maybe it was worth not letting the blood and the chaos pull me under."  
There was a silence then. The kind that is not uncomfortable, but still carries so much weight. Somehow both girls knew that, when it was broken, things would never be the same again.  
"I really was there. They wouldn't let me see you until dawn, but I finally made my way to you when the sun broke through the smoke and I said," Parvati paused, and rephrased, "I told you I loved you."  
Just like that the silence was broken, and so was an invisible barrier and when their lips met they molded together perfectly, as if just Lavender's short hair, they were meant to be all along, just waiting for this perfect match to be uncovered. 

That morning, the sun rose yet again (but through a different smoke) to one girl telling the other that she loved her, but this time, both were conscious. The first rays of sunlight bathed the intertwined bodies through the open window as well as the newly reconstructed walls of the castle outside. All was not well, but all that had crumbled was on its way to being reconstructed in wonderful new ways.


End file.
